Republican Psychopathology
By R. D. Flavin


     Might as well jump in with both feet and offer the four 'D's for Republican Psychopathology as 1) despicable, 2) dishonorable, 3) dreadful, and 4) dumb as rocks (parody of T. Davis. 2009. “Conceptualizing Psychiatric Disorders Using 'Four D's' of Diagnoses.” The Internet Journal of Psychiatry. 1,1: 1-5.). Sure, this may seem to some as a viscious screed against the Grand Old Party of the Republicans and they are properly and politically correct. May Hillary forgive me, but there are a few common sensical elephants and a couple of moderately extremist Right-Wingers I don't entirely disagree with. However, this screed perseveres with but the mention of two names – George W. Bush used as key-words in a search-engine browser will still come back with a list of web-pages on 'dry drunks', and Sarah Palin, a beauty of kooky lunacy. Now, there's plenty of room for insulting repartee, so let's delve into the psychopathology of the 'Pubs', shall we?

     With the standard 'Four D's' of psychiatric disorders – dysfunction, deviance, danger, and distress – comparisons with abnormal behavior by the Republicans are an easy matter. Beginning with alligning dyfunction with despicable is best expressed by the lack of work done by the latest Congress with its abnormal abhorrence of any issue presented by Pres. Obama and/or the Democrats in both the House and in the Senate. Simply put, the Republicans have cut off their noses to spite their faces and in the process hurt and negatively affected many, if not all, Americans. Globally, we saw our credit rating drop because most nations find our Congress to be the very definition of dysfunctional. And, Congress brought in upon themselves to throw a girlish hissy-fit and puroposely with money to keep our government running. The cost to our budget, government employees, and the average American over the long run is too sad to calculate or contemplate. Dysfunctional? Despicably idiotic seems more appropriate.

     Our Republican Congress are elected officials and representatives of the people (for some people, that is), but are intrinsically government employees with a job to perform. Their witchhunts, poutiness, and sheer laziness to do their job and vote on and pass bills fully rank as dishonorable. Sometimes they don't show up to vote. I mean, a lack of a good work ethic is one thing, but Congress refuses to even pass minor, run-of-the-mill bills which usually pass unchallenged and proceed on their way benefiting some group of people or an American industry (independent farms and such come to mind). Fall on your swords, dear Republicans, as you've dishonored your country with pettiness attempting to pass for Tea Party patriotism. It's no wonder why we are hated, pitied, and laughed at by huge chunks of the world – we “speak with forked tongues” and break promises and pledges showing dishonor openly and often. Sorry, Pres. Obama, I know you're doing your best, but the dishonorable Republican-controled House of Representitives and the Senate are ignoring their responsibilities. The descision of Rep. John Bohner (R, OH) to step down as Speaker of the House of representatives doesn't take a cystal ball or any occult divination means – he's embarassed by the Grand Old Party and their Tea-Bagger deviance. Ah, it's “for the people” not the Rebuplican way or we're taking the ball and going home (or on vacation). Good luck, Rep. Paul Ryan, you're now the head nut!

     The world is a dangerous enough place without us behaving dreadfully and inviting more trouble. Even with our massive military, there exists such a thing as spreading ourselves too thin, i.e., leaving America and our allies without proper defence. Unfortunately overlooking acts of domestic terrorism (Oklahoma City and the Uni-bomber), our shores, borders, lands, and skies are woefully under-protected. We have to take the government at its word that they have stopped many a terror plot on American soil, but the specifics have to remain classified. Let's even skip over the Wikileaks fiasco and the Snowden affair... The hacking of the Pentagon and some of the White House was apparently done by the Russians. An American teenager recently hacked the AOL account of the head of the C.I.A., John Brennan, proving 1) computer hacking must not be that difficult and 2) the director of the C.I.A. needs a computer course in the worst way. And, like kids in an electronic playground, the U.S. and China have been engaged in cyber warfare (both civilian companies and government offices) for several year now. While a cyber attack might be vaguely compared with rape, the detonation of an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) or trasient electromagnetic short burst disturbance, especially from a nuclear or non-nuclear electromagnetic pulse (NNEMP). Both portable and land or sea transported EMPs are scary enough as everything electronic gets shut down, i.e., computers, cars, lights and energy which would shut down hospitals and nuclear plants, as well as one's Xbox and iPhone. The Russians first developed the EMP in 1951, but many nations have since went on to make plenty of their own. It's been rumored that the Republican Tea-Baggers have their own mini-EMP which is designed to only effect Democrats.

     It's detrimental to the nation's mental heath with the constant Republican attacks against women's rights, copious homophobia, and the inherent racism in existing and proposed laws against African-Americans and Hispanics. It's extremely detrimental to the nation's economic health for Congressional fat and the ignoring of the lower and middle classes. War, of course, would hurt us all and the Republicans embrace disorder and we are currently challenging nations who are capable and willing to engage in war with us. Are the Republicans troubled or simply feeding the businesses who profit from war to the tune of $700 to $500 billions, monies which could rebuild our infrastructure, better our health and education programs, clean our environment, and make us all better Americans. I mean, they'll still be wars and conflicts we must fight, but with perhaps less private companies who kill, maim, and torture like DynCorp with four billion a year in Afghanistan. Distress? Private prisons at home and non-military soldiers abroad is worrisome and fosters negativity.

     The plight and psychopathology (Greek psychē – 'mind' + pathos – ''suffering'' + logia – 'study of'') of Republicans is surely difficult. With their political woes, the study of the suffering mind of Repubicans is a requirement for this country to move forward. I believe we should form an independent 'civilian' council consisting of, say, Oprah, Dr. Phil, Judge Judy, and Bill Nye the Science Guy to thoroughly examine why most Republicans are the wack losers that they are. Maybe then, true national healing can begin.

The author is not responsible for the above content as he was laughing too much as he was composing it,

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